Who Watches the Watchmen?

We do. We all do, avidly, without cessation. Every move that comes along for the development of the Watchmen movie has fans chomping at the bit for more. Mainly because, well, we comic fans like being outraged. We love it when Hollywood screws us over, so we can roll our eyes at how infantile a product the film biz has wheeled out, and how they don't understand the source material, and how much better it would have been had David Lynch/Terry Gilliam/Tim Burton/insert cult director here had made it.

Though to be fair, this picture of unfair criticism can be levelled more at the true-blue superhero flicks. We lucked out first time around with Superman and then Batman, so now every time a Fantastic Four or Daredevil lurches around the corner and collapses, half-formed, onto the red carpet, we scream blue murder. But what can we expect? These are usually cash-in flicks, based not on stories, but on character bios. Get in the origin story in some form, cast a big-name actor and then have the character's biggest baddie pop up so he can be beaten up at the end.

With Alan Moore's comics, it's a different story. Alan Moore writes stories from the ground up. If he's working with an established character, he re-invents it from the ground up. There is no part of an Alan Moore comic that has not been meticulously planned, considered and researched. He writes the best comics known to mankind, full stop. Just ask Jonathan Ross:

"Ooh hoo! You tell 'em, Nick!"

So, more than other comics, when filmmakers screw up his work (which they have managed to do in every case thus far), it smarts. Of course, I say that partly because I've not been pleased by any treatment of an Alan Moore film to date, so I'm just reserving the right to complain. Selfishly. But I think there's something in that. Take James McTeigue's take on V for Vendetta. It's not like Joel Schumacher doing Batman. It's like Joel Schumacher doing Remains of the Day. "Stevens! What are you doing!? Put down that gun!" "Looks like the butler did it, sir."

BLAM!

So yes, back to the point: the Watchmen movie. As someone who's been disappointed utterly by all other screen interpretations of Moore comics, you'd expect me to meet this adaptation by Zack Snyder (director of such cerebral masterworks as the Dawn of the Dead remake and 300) with sneering derision and dismissal. So why is it that I keep meeting each new tidbit of information with seemingly boundless optimism? It could just be that until now, everything he's said about it has been encouraging. His first move was throwing out the script and starting work on one treating the comic as an 80s period piece. That's great. That's a good start. Then the infamous, nicely-captured Rorschach teaser picture surfaced:

"Tyre tread on burst stomach, y'all!"

Tiny snippets, to be sure. And even now that potentially incredibly controversial and hope-killing news is beginning to surface, I still can't kill my relentless buzz. The first official casting word has surfaced (through the infinitely hateful, yet similarly efficient organ that is Ain't It Cool News), and some of it might split opinion somewhat. This is only half-official, since some of the actors are still in talks with the studio, apparently, so I can't promise that this is definitive. Still, the word seems to be fairly certain.

First off, Jude Law is playing Adrian Veidt, aka Ozymandias.

No huge surprise, he's well-known to have been trying to get a place in the film for God-knows-how-long, and he'd be pretty well-suited to the character. He's also such an immense Moore fan that it'd probably be unfair not to give him a part in the movie. And I liked him in eXistenZ, so there you go.

Second up, this dude is playing Dan Dreiberg, aka Nite Owl 2:

Apparently his name's Patrick Wilson, and he was in Phantom of the Opera and Little Children - two films I have never seen. Physically, at least, he seems to fit the bill (though they'll have to get him on the double cheeseburgers for a couple of months first), So I can't complain. This sets a trend of casting relative unknowns in some of the major roles, which is an extremely good one.

However, this is a trend almost instantly broken by the casting choice for Jon Osterman, aka Doc Manhattan...


Yes. Yes, I know. Yes, that is Keanu Reeves. Ted Theodore Logan. Yes, it's a bizarre casting move and one that's not going to be at all popular with a lot of Moore fans. But I'm not ready to throw it out utterly yet. He does unreadable and vague well, and he was good in A Scanner Darkly, so I remain hopeful for the project on the whole. Still, I imagine that for a lot of people, this is enough to throw out the whole project sight-unseen. Maybe for me, there's just something deliciously anarchic in shaving your biggest name actor bald and painting him blue. Well, so to speak. They'll probably just mo-cap it. But still. In voice terms, there are a million wiser casting moves, it's true. Still, it seems like this might well be another project where Reeves pushed for it because he loves the source material (like ASD), so perhaps he'll find an impressive performance in there somewhere.

Of course, there's a reason that these characters have been announced already - because these won't be the most controversial. Those will most likely be the Comedian, and of course Rorschach. Fans have speculated endlessly on the nature of the casting here, and not without good reason. Though the Comedian spends little time onscreen (or on-page, even), he's one of the most pivotal characters in the book, and one of the 'biggest', personality-wise. Fans and internet rumours have kicked up suggestions of Bruce Campbell or Ron Perlman, either of which seem fine to me. However, Snyder himself has said that there's a place for Gerard Butler in Watchmen, so that place may well end up being Eddie Blake. Of course, this is just wild speculation on the internet's part, as usual.

But the most important casting decision is Rorschach. It was always going to be. And for the first time, it seems like the fans may be influencing the decision. They seem to be pushing online, and with letter petitions, for this man:

"GIVE ME BACK MY FAAACE!"

Doug Hutchison. And, from photos, the part seems made for him. I can't judge, myself, because I haven't seen him act, but it seems plausible. He's apparently 5'6'' and has a deep voice, so on paper, he's perfect. Almost too perfect? Who can say. Still, apparently fan pressure has caused his representation to badger Warner Brothers about the project, so it could conceivably happen.

Of course, again, this is all speculation. The facts are: Jude Law, Patrick Wilson and Keanu Reeves. And call me crazy (you wouldn't be the first), but I still hold out hope that this project will, in part at least, do justice to the comic book. Or at least be an enjoyable retelling, or trailer, if you will, of it.

Man, even after V for Vendetta? I must be crazy.

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'Beat' Nick custodiet ipsos custodes.